So that's why they don't have a blog of their own...
Aquaman - If only everything that came out of the sea looked this good...
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Friday, 9 December 2011
Entry #3 - What Doesn't Kill You, Only Makes You Gay-er...
In my last Entry, I told you, my friends, not to lie to yourself and to be who you are. You will have read about how I lied to myself to be caring to others, but there was something else I failed to mention... I lied to save myself. I was a Superhero before I even knew it. And the first victim I saved, was me.
One of the hardest thing to do when being bullied, is to tell someone. Being bullied is a sign of weakness; it's an embarrassing thing to have to admit. No-one wants to be the victim. And I'm saddened to admit, that I was the victim. For 3 years I was tormented, physically attacked, and my life made a horror, for no reason what-so-ever. Their reason (the bullies') was that I was gay. I hadn't even come out, and there were no tell-tale signs that I was gay, either, but it was kind of them to assume anyway. I will spare you the details - I don't want to make myself (or you, my friends) miserable, recounting my trials. The important thing about it is, what I learnt from it...
I believe, whole honestly, that I would not be the man I am today, were it not for being bullied: I gained confidence; the strength to stand up to what I believe in; and the urge to help others in the same position like I was. It's a pity I had to endure 3 years of horror to feel this way now, but I don't regret it.
You see, bullies bully to make themselves feel good, and to make their victim feel bad. At the time, yes, they succeeded... but after, they failed miserably! I rose up and became the Larry Landers I am today! And I love being me! So... bullies...? I won! And you lose!
I believe, whole honestly, that I would not be the man I am today, were it not for being bullied. I am gay, and back then I was gay too... I knew I was... I felt it in my heart (and other regions), but I can't help but wonder, did the bullies have a part in my becoming gay? Did the repeated accusations that I was gay, condition my sexuality? Did it make me sub-consciously think I was gay, and eventually turn me?
...No.
I was gay from the beginning. I knew I didn't want a sexual relationship with females long before the bullying took place. But it is an interesting thought isn't it? If anything, the bullies made me realise I was gay, before I found it out myself. I am a firm believer that being gay is not psychological, or can be controlled or altered. One is born gay, and when the time is right, your body tells you. Hormones are frustrating little buggers when growing up - they like to confuse you: "You're gay... no, you're straight... wait, no... you're gay... no... you're straight... actually...". But eventually, they get bored and give it to you straight (no pun intended). And when that day comes, it's pretty plain sailing from then on (well it is for me at least). You no longer have to pretend in order to fit in... try to steer the conversation the other way when asked if you have a girlfriend... agree with your straight friends when talking about a hot girl (not that all straight people do is talk about hot girls, of course).
I am a Superhero, because I saved myself from falling. I rose up out of the darkness and took back what was wrongly stripped away from me. And now, I am here to save you. I'm not going to tell you that what happened to me will happen to you too, my friends. What you experience may be a lot worse than what I did, heaven forbid. I cannot ascertain that everything will be alright, but I am here hoping. But I am an example, that sometimes, things can go right for you. And that next person could be you, my friends. I hit my lowest point once upon a time, and it did seem it would never resolve... but it eventually did. It just takes a lot of willpower, good friends and family, and a Superhero... and I can assure you now, that that Superhero is probably you...
I am just the Ghost of Stories Past...
This is my story...
But one day, this story will be yours...
One of the hardest thing to do when being bullied, is to tell someone. Being bullied is a sign of weakness; it's an embarrassing thing to have to admit. No-one wants to be the victim. And I'm saddened to admit, that I was the victim. For 3 years I was tormented, physically attacked, and my life made a horror, for no reason what-so-ever. Their reason (the bullies') was that I was gay. I hadn't even come out, and there were no tell-tale signs that I was gay, either, but it was kind of them to assume anyway. I will spare you the details - I don't want to make myself (or you, my friends) miserable, recounting my trials. The important thing about it is, what I learnt from it...
I believe, whole honestly, that I would not be the man I am today, were it not for being bullied: I gained confidence; the strength to stand up to what I believe in; and the urge to help others in the same position like I was. It's a pity I had to endure 3 years of horror to feel this way now, but I don't regret it.
You see, bullies bully to make themselves feel good, and to make their victim feel bad. At the time, yes, they succeeded... but after, they failed miserably! I rose up and became the Larry Landers I am today! And I love being me! So... bullies...? I won! And you lose!
I believe, whole honestly, that I would not be the man I am today, were it not for being bullied. I am gay, and back then I was gay too... I knew I was... I felt it in my heart (and other regions), but I can't help but wonder, did the bullies have a part in my becoming gay? Did the repeated accusations that I was gay, condition my sexuality? Did it make me sub-consciously think I was gay, and eventually turn me?
...No.
I was gay from the beginning. I knew I didn't want a sexual relationship with females long before the bullying took place. But it is an interesting thought isn't it? If anything, the bullies made me realise I was gay, before I found it out myself. I am a firm believer that being gay is not psychological, or can be controlled or altered. One is born gay, and when the time is right, your body tells you. Hormones are frustrating little buggers when growing up - they like to confuse you: "You're gay... no, you're straight... wait, no... you're gay... no... you're straight... actually...". But eventually, they get bored and give it to you straight (no pun intended). And when that day comes, it's pretty plain sailing from then on (well it is for me at least). You no longer have to pretend in order to fit in... try to steer the conversation the other way when asked if you have a girlfriend... agree with your straight friends when talking about a hot girl (not that all straight people do is talk about hot girls, of course).
I am a Superhero, because I saved myself from falling. I rose up out of the darkness and took back what was wrongly stripped away from me. And now, I am here to save you. I'm not going to tell you that what happened to me will happen to you too, my friends. What you experience may be a lot worse than what I did, heaven forbid. I cannot ascertain that everything will be alright, but I am here hoping. But I am an example, that sometimes, things can go right for you. And that next person could be you, my friends. I hit my lowest point once upon a time, and it did seem it would never resolve... but it eventually did. It just takes a lot of willpower, good friends and family, and a Superhero... and I can assure you now, that that Superhero is probably you...
I am just the Ghost of Stories Past...
This is my story...
But one day, this story will be yours...
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Entry #2 - My Pre-Queer Beginning...
I had previously posted Entry #2, but then decided to delete it in the end. In it, it detailed a list of names of my previous girlfriends and the reasons for our break ups. After a nights sleep and a few hours waking thought, I thought it wrong of me to publicise their names to demonstrate my failure at being a heterosexual male.
My friends, you need to know that an integral part of my becoming LimeLight: The Not So Superhero, is that I am gay... a gay Superhero. It has been continuing thing for 20 years now, but it took me 16 years before I acted upon it...
I removed the list of my previous girlfriends' names for they were not to become merely numbers on a page. In a nutshell, however, I can tell you, that each relationship ended due to the failure of our becoming a fully formed couple: I refused advances from the females to 'further' our relationship, because I knew, even from the ages of 11-16 (when my 'heterosexual' years were at its peak), that I was gay, yet I continued the facade. One could say I messed the girls around by doing so, but I stayed with them, and asked them out on dates, to make them happy. I knew they wanted to be with me and I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I have wondered whether pretending to wanting to be with them ever hurt their feelings, however, by the time our relationships ended, they weren't bothered if they lost me or not... I was a brick wall when it came to progressing our relationships physically. I couldn't do it. There was no attraction. I couldn't help it. And after days, weeks, months and even years of trying, one by one, they all gave up on me.
I knew I was gay, but I couldn't point my finger for definite and say "Yes, Larry Landers, you are gay... you are a gay man!", because I had no experience with girls, sexually, other than kissing. That was until I had a rather unpleasant sexual experience with my last ever girlfriend, which made me, right then and there, realise that I was 100% gay. And I haven't looked back since.
Although the first 5 years of my romantic and sexual awakening was wasted, I don't regret it. The females I dated, for however long each relationship lasted, were my friends at least. And in the end, it taught me about the importance of friendship (sickeningly corny, I know), but I realise now that I shouldn't have lied to myself. I should have enjoyed their friendship and not pretended in order to fit in at school. You, my friends, should never have to lie to yourself. Be true. Always.
And now, here I am, 4 years on. And for it, I am a better, happier person.
And to end Entry #2, I have a question to ask you, and something to think about till next time:
Would you want to be saved by a gay Superhero? The answer, my friends, I hope is 'yes'... because my saving you has already begun...
My friends, you need to know that an integral part of my becoming LimeLight: The Not So Superhero, is that I am gay... a gay Superhero. It has been continuing thing for 20 years now, but it took me 16 years before I acted upon it...
I removed the list of my previous girlfriends' names for they were not to become merely numbers on a page. In a nutshell, however, I can tell you, that each relationship ended due to the failure of our becoming a fully formed couple: I refused advances from the females to 'further' our relationship, because I knew, even from the ages of 11-16 (when my 'heterosexual' years were at its peak), that I was gay, yet I continued the facade. One could say I messed the girls around by doing so, but I stayed with them, and asked them out on dates, to make them happy. I knew they wanted to be with me and I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I have wondered whether pretending to wanting to be with them ever hurt their feelings, however, by the time our relationships ended, they weren't bothered if they lost me or not... I was a brick wall when it came to progressing our relationships physically. I couldn't do it. There was no attraction. I couldn't help it. And after days, weeks, months and even years of trying, one by one, they all gave up on me.
I knew I was gay, but I couldn't point my finger for definite and say "Yes, Larry Landers, you are gay... you are a gay man!", because I had no experience with girls, sexually, other than kissing. That was until I had a rather unpleasant sexual experience with my last ever girlfriend, which made me, right then and there, realise that I was 100% gay. And I haven't looked back since.
Although the first 5 years of my romantic and sexual awakening was wasted, I don't regret it. The females I dated, for however long each relationship lasted, were my friends at least. And in the end, it taught me about the importance of friendship (sickeningly corny, I know), but I realise now that I shouldn't have lied to myself. I should have enjoyed their friendship and not pretended in order to fit in at school. You, my friends, should never have to lie to yourself. Be true. Always.
And now, here I am, 4 years on. And for it, I am a better, happier person.
And to end Entry #2, I have a question to ask you, and something to think about till next time:
Would you want to be saved by a gay Superhero? The answer, my friends, I hope is 'yes'... because my saving you has already begun...
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Which Superhero Are You? Quiz
Top 3 results:
1. Superman - 75%
2. The Flash - 60%
3. Spiderman - 55%
What an ego boost on this rainy, Wednesday afternoon... but if its one thing I must NOT get, it's The Hero Complex! I musn't let it go to my head... and neither must it to you. Take the test and find out... it's a bit of fun, if nothing else!
http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/
1. Superman - 75%
2. The Flash - 60%
3. Spiderman - 55%
What an ego boost on this rainy, Wednesday afternoon... but if its one thing I must NOT get, it's The Hero Complex! I musn't let it go to my head... and neither must it to you. Take the test and find out... it's a bit of fun, if nothing else!
http://www.thesuperheroquiz.com/
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Entry #1 - A Tale Worth Telling?
My name is Larry Landers. I’m 20 years old. I’m a Superhero. I’m a Geek. I’m a SuperGeek. I’m LimeLight, The Not So Superhero.
I’ve questioned whether or not the population of Planet Earth want to be saved and watched over by a scrawny, kind of toned, but not toned enough to be on a calender, 6’3, fairly hairless young man. You see, I’m not your typical Superhero… My biceps don’t bulge out of my suit; and my logo isn’t stretched over ripped chest muscles, and my catch-phrase is mediocre at best, but my objective; my modus operendi, is…
No… I'm not going to tell you just yet. Is it a tale worth telling if you already know how it ends? And who’s to say it has ended? I think I should start at the beginning, like Bereshit, like Genesis, before LimeLight created me, and made me the man I am now - well, the man I am when no-one’s looking. You, my friend, whoever is reading this, are the only people who know of my secret life, my alter-ego, and you are the ones who will know how my story ends. That’s if my story has an end…
My name is Larry Landers. I’m 20 years old. I’m a Superhero. I’m a Geek. I’m a SuperGeek. I’m LimeLight, The Not So Superhero… and my friends… watch this space.
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